This is a post written by my good friend Natalie Berthold, a Family Constellation Therapist, intuitive healer and all-around phenomenal woman. She has helped me tremendously over the last two years and if you can relate to what she writes below, maybe she can help you too. Enjoy!
I call it the poltergeist phenomenon. You know, when there is that familiar force that compels you, propels you to do the same thing, over and over again. Perhaps you keep reaching for the bottle, the cheetos, that same player, the same illness. Whatever it is, it is probably beyond you. I mostly work with very aware, conscious, ‘spiritual’ people who have their heads up straight. However, even after the yoga, the mantras, the law of attraction, most of us are still dealing with one or two ‘demons’. We all have our patterns. Maybe you make a ton of money and then lose a ton of money like a roller coaster, maybe you can’t seem to make a dime, or possibly, you make ‘just enough’ and nothing more. In relationships, maybe you always seem to attract the momma’s boy, player, or unavailable types (married, live geographically far away, or emotionally stunted). Or maybe you meet a great catch, but can’t seem to hold onto him past 3 years, 3 months, or 3 days. Whatever it is, including trying everything to get through addiction, but to no avail, it is probably beyond you.
Everyone acknowledges and talks about the individual consciousness, and the universal consciousness. But what is missing is a very important and influential consciousness….that of the family consciousness. You see, your family has a soul. It is a system of characters who have loved, died, failed, succeeded, lost, and gained. Some committed crimes and others had crimes committed against them. Some loved and lost and others never loved at all. Then, you dear one, are conceived and come into your family system, soul and consciousness and are already pre-wired and dispositioned in certain ways. Others of you actually volunteer (yes, volunteer) to take on some of your family’s trauma and burdens, though this doesn’t help anyone.
We are all walking around and operating and functioning (or dysfunctioning–although there is a function to the dysfunction) from our family system, yet we are trying to solve the problem from the context of our own lives, when it is so much deeper and more complex than that.
This is where Family Constellation Therapy comes in. The grandfather and main contributor of this work, was doing missionary work in South Africa. He started to notice that the Zulu tribes were very happy people and noted that much of the rest of the world, was not. He began to question and observe what they were doing differently and he came up with “The Orders of Love” which are the basic orders in a family system of where love can both be disrupted and flow again. The therapy is designed to look, through an experiential and phenomenological approach (if this is over your head, it should be…it is a phenomenon and experiential for a reason…it should be personally experienced to really understand it).
Your ‘family’ (through other group participants, dolls, and other means) is set up and a dynamic that you need to look at, unravels through a morphic field (the same field that signals to birds where and when to fly and to fly in unison and a distinct pattern, so it is NOT role play). This internal image that appears shows up and gives insight on where there is disconnection, or lack of completion in your family system. We then facilitate some healing and rearrange the family so that connection, completion, and ultimately, love can flow again, which will allow for more success in love and relationships, finances and career, and health and well-being. I myself was cured of a 15 year battle with bulimia in one session and this is what compelled me to study the work. I have worked with hundreds and seen it free them from relationship patterns, health concerns, financial predicaments, helped them conceive babies, skin issues, ‘bad luck’, depression, addiction, hair loss, trauma, bullying, you name it!
The therapy is truly amazing and powerful and is often said to be more healing in one session, than 10+ years of therapy. This modality focuses on inclusion, rather than exclusion; compassion, rather than blame and anger, and love and seeing the big picture.
If you would like to experience this unique type of therapy, hop on over to learn more at www.natalieberthold.com. On Sept. 26, I will be leading a workshop and leading a yoga + Family Constellation Retreat in beautiful Cape Cod from Oct. 16-20. I hope you can experience this work soon. It heals the generations both before and after you, not to mention your own! And remember, if you reject your family, you reject yourself! Find some space for love and compassion to move within you and your system today!