Recently I’ve been feeling called to let you in on what’s going on behind the scenes in a way I’ve never done before. Eeek, it’s kinda scary just saying that!
Sooo, this is the first in what I hope to be many personal shares with you over the coming months.
If you’ve been around these parts for awhile, you might know I was super duper sick for most of March and some of April. Yeah, like “fever for 23 days, can’t get out of of bed, can’t do anything but watch all seven seasons of Mad Men” kinda sick.
Talk about having to slow my roll and surrender to the fact that everything had to be put on hold.
Naturally, I tried every remedy and treatment under the sun – my favorite cold and flu concoction, essential oils, infrared saunas, epsom salt baths, nutritional IV’s, enemas, and even a visit to the ER.
Nothing.worked. I did tests, and they all came back negative. According to the doctors, I was fine. Um yeah, not so much.
You know what finally broke my fever???
Launching my website! My temp dropped for good the day my site went live.
My friend Jenn Racioppi was like “That’s some upper limit sh*t right there Nicole”.
I haven’t exactly been vigilant about managing my stress or self care over the last six months (you can read about that here), so I thought my illness had way more to do with stress, than these upper limits Jenn was talking about!
Basically, what she mean’t was this: I was in the middle of huge change and on the verge of major growth and increased success. And upper limits are the threshold for how much success, love, happiness etc we’ll let ourselves experience.
Was I self-destructing before allowing myself to have too much of what I truly wanted?
Had I subconsciously reached my upper limit and self-sabotaged so I could come back down to the level on which I felt most in control – that old familiar place called my comfort zone?
Mmm…yes, that sounds about right. Okay, maybe she had a point!
I sat with this idea and realized it stemmed from a deeper feeling of not being worthy enough. Who the heck was I to have this brand new beautiful website, a successful business and all the other awesome things that were coming my way??
I think Marianne Williamson sums it up in this quote (which happens to be one of my all time faves)…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So the next time you feel some upper limit stuff coming on, ask yourself this:
“How much success, love, joy, and passion do I want and deserve?”
If you believe it’s more than you have right now, then make sure to pay close attention to your feelings and how you act on them. In other words, check yourself before you wreck yourself girl.
This is often uncomfortable but if you can sit with it, and don’t shrink back into your comfort zone, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by all the possibilities that exist on the other side.
Have you ever had upper limit problems? How did you overcome them? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below…