I distinctly remember writing my end-of-year blog post on this exact date in 2011. I was in a much different place a year ago – for the first time in a really long time I was not in a relationship and feeling totally alone and terrified! While nothing could have prepared me for how incredibly bad I would feel, I knew it was finally time to take a long hard look at “me” so I could figure out who I truly was and what I wanted. My colleague Lisa Fabrega has a great term for it, “sitting in the shit.” That pretty much sums up how I closed out 2011 and boy did it suck! As I reflect on the last 12 months though, I know that this process was an invaluable part of my self-growth.
Here are five little nuggets from 2011 that I think are worth sharing.
There is nothing more important than your relationship with yourself.
Not your job, your material possessions or even your relationships with others. I learned this the hard way. Towards the end of last year, I found myself in an on-going relationship situation that I should never have been in in the first place. However, I didn’t love myself or trust myself enough to get out of it. Unfortunately, it took complete devastation for me to see that what I lacked was self love and maybe even self-respect. At the time I was so terrified (like paralyzed) of letting go of my emotional crutches that I had completely lost sight of what I wanted and what made me happy. Instead I was holding on to an illusion of happiness.
But guess what? I did eventually let go and I f—ing survived! When you can take a step back, see a situation that is no longer serving you, and actually make a conscious decision to walk away or make a change (as hard as that may be) then you’ve got tremendous love and respect for yourself. So let 2013 be the year that you choose yourself and start having a relationship with YOU! You have everything to make you happy within you. I promise.
FYI: Jumping on trampolines will make you happy! 🙂
Always be your authentic self, even at the risk of judgement or ridicule.
Words to live by:
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” – Judy Garland
We’ve all played the part to try and fit in at one time or another. I grew up on a small island where almost everyone alters some facet of themselves in order to be accepted by others. And for years I did the same. I’m the classic perfectionist people-pleaser and too many times I’ve hidden an aspect of myself for fear of judgement or disapproval by others. What I’ve learned is letting go of this fear is crucial to living life on your own terms. And that begins with self acceptance. No more faking it. You will no doubt piss some people off but know that it’s usually their own self-doubt and fears that are causing their negative reaction to you. Remember that for every one person who is confronted by your authenticity there are ten people behind them who will appreciate it.
It IS possible to conquer your biggest fears!
In November I spoke in front of 60 brave and inspiring women at a Whole Foods employee health immersion in Florida. If you know me well, you know that public speaking has always terrified me – sweaty-hands-and-the-shakes-kinda terrified. In college I would even drop classes if I found out that there would be public speaking involved. Yes, ridiculous! In the last couple of years I’ve let just about every public speaking opportunity get away because of my fear. So as you can imagine, this particular event was a huge deal!
Getting clear on my core message was the key to being able to speak in public. It’s amazing how easy it is to communicate your message once you step into your truth. Whether it is public speaking or some other fear that is holding you back, know that the confidence to do these things will probably show up after you’ve done them. Just do them, whatever they are, not only for yourself but for the world. After my presentation in Florida I felt sooo alive! I literally can’t wait for the next opportunity to take the mic because I know that this is the way in which I need to spread my message and serve my higher purpose.
Fixing periods is definitely not just about fixing hormones.
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ~Rumi
I began this year with back-to-back group programs and a number of new clients. I was psyched to help these women overcome their issues so they could fulfill their dreams of getting pregnant, leading lives without painful periods, and healing debilitating conditions. What I learned is there is SO much more that goes into helping a woman heal her hormonal issues than just addressing hormones! In addition to food nourishment (which is super important) women need soul nourishment! We need to be fed on a mental, emotional and spiritual level in order to live our best lives ever. When we examine our careers, relationships, spirituality, self-love and self-care, we start to create a vision of what we truly want our lives to look like and we can begin to execute on that vision. Taking care of your body should be your highest responsibility because without it there is no YOU. And we want you here! 🙂
Surrender to circumstances that you can’t change.
Ah sweet surrender. I’m notoriously bad at surrender because I have always been a fighter. Throughout my life, if I found myself in a situation I didn’t like, I’d fight it like crazy. I’d fight to make a “wrong” into a “right”, fight to get what I thought I deserved. You get the idea. Late last year I found myself in this familiar place, fighting really hard for something that I had no control over. Below is a picture of me staring at the sunset a year ago…there was so much sadness. Back then I couldn’t have imagined that relinquishing control would be the key to being happy again.
This surrender thing didn’t come easy but when I finally figured out that I was addicted to the struggle, and it was no longer serving me, I knew it was time to just let go and trust that the universe had my back. And guess what? It totally did have my back. Eventually I got what I wanted. Not right away but it happened when it was supposed to – when I was truly ready for it.
I’ve noticed this with a lot of my clients who are trying to get pregnant. When they surrender to “what is mean’t to be will be,” they end up getting pregnant when the time is right for them. So if a situation or circumstances feel too difficult, consider surrendering to the possibility that there is an easier path to take. Your intuition will guide you.
And that is my somewhat long-winded summary of the self-love and self-acceptance journey I have been on this past year. What resulted was a period of intense self-growth during which I began to truly find myself. And that leads me to my year-end ritual.
Self-discovery is a lifetime process but we all have to start somewhere. Maybe you start here? What are some of the valuable lessons you have learned this year? What were your most memorable moments – good or bad? What lessons will you take into 2013? Take a minute to reflect on these things. Think back to each month of 2012 and try to remember the significant things that happened to you. Then consider what you’d like to happen in the future. Write this stuff down – in a journal, on a piece of paper, in google docs, wherever. If you’d like, feel free to share any of your thoughts in the comments section below too.
I want to wish you a Happy Happy New Year! Thank you for being a part of my tribe this year! I can’t wait to share all that I’ve got coming up for you in 2013. xoxo